Bad and Drawn That Way
by anongray
Summary: An AU where Jessica Rabbit is working with Judge Doom. Clad in her elegant, inky black dress she pays a visit to Valiant & Valiant to find out where her husband is.


Smoke danced through the dimly lit oversized office. The tip of the cigarette came to life in an orange glow as the pouty lips it was brought to take a drag. "I didn't expect him to run away." A sultry voice spoke. "He has no street smarts and he can barely function in Toon Town, much less Hollywood. He sticks out like a sore thumb. We'll find him soon." Another drag from the cigarette that was placed in a long dark holder.

"I should sure hope so, this entire plan hinges on the rabbit." A shadowy figure behind a large desk spoke. Clad in all black, a large hate and sunglasses. He was an imposing figure to say the least. The skin you could see was paper white. It was Judge Doom, the newly appointed judge over the Toon Town district.

"We know he has the will and without the will, we've got nothing!" The Judge's cool demeanor suddenly exploded. "You know him best, where could he possibly go?" He asked.

The voluptuous figure in front of the desk remained calm and didn't so much as blink from the Judge's outburst. It was the wife of the cartoon star, Roger Rabbit, Jessica Rabbit. Clad in an inky black dress that clung to her body in all the right places. She wore opera gloves matching her dress that went up her arms. A fur wrap covered her shoulders and a hat contained her fire red hair. The hat's black veil hanging half way down her face.

"I don't know. He has no true friends and most people he's worked with can't stand him anymore. He's a fading star and nobody wants to be associated with that in this town. Especially one wanted for murder. Like I said, he can't go far. We'll find him." She exhaled a puff of smoke.

"Well if you want your big payday and your sympathy ticket to be the biggest act in town then you better hope so." The Judge said.

The door flung open and in an instant the Toon Patrol filled the office. They were a group of toon weasels, each with a unique personality trait that defined their entire demeanor. They were slimy, second-rate toon criminals with hardly enough brains between the lot of them to hatch a plan.

Their leader, Smartass, spoke up. "Big news, boss. The clerk from the probate called. Dolores Valiant was just down there poking around about Cloverleaf industries."

The Judge's eyes widened. "She what?! How could she possibly kno-." He took a breath to calm himself. "Why would Dolores Valiant be at the probate court?" He asked calmly.

"The dick." Jessica interrupted.

"Excuse me?" The Judge asked.

"The private investigator. The dick. Eddie Valiant. Her husband. He used to specialize in toon cases." Jessica said.

"I know who he is and what he did but what has th-." It hit the Judge like a toon of bricks. "ROGER!" He exclaimed. "He went to Valiant for help, of course! And now that gumshoe son-of-a-bitch is piecing things together. He'll ruin everything!" The Judge stood up pounding on his desk.

Jessica also got up and sauntered to the other side of the room. She couldn't stand to be that close to the weasels and needed a break. The smell, for one thing, was bad enough.

"Alright boys, we've got to snuff this out. I want you to go down to his apartment and get the rabbit. Bring him back here and we'll throw him under the jail before he even realizes what's happened." Doom ordered.

The weasels scampered out of the office in a hurry. "Yes sir, boss, right away!"

_An hour later  
_

Doom and Jessica were eating lunch discussing every day how they were going to spin this once Roger was arrested, put through a mock trial and sentenced for the murder of Marvin Acme. This was going to generate a massive wave of sympathy for Jessica. The perfect toon couple, all the while, she was living with a monster. She was going to be more famous than ever combined with the massive amount of return she was going to get in her investment from the freeway scam that Doom was simultaneously cooking.

The door to the office creaked open and the Toon Patrol came in with their heads low. Doom didn't even look up from his food. "You don't have the rabbit, do you?"

Smart Ass was dejected. "We looked really hard boss but the rabbit ain't there. I tell ya."

Jessica, once again disgusted by their presence, got up from the table and walked to the other side of the room.

Doom brought a hand to his forehead. "Idiots, the lot of you! I gave you one simple task and you can't even do that! What good are you?!" He stood up raising his hand to them as they cowered. "Alright, we need to take it up some. We need Eddie to talk. So what's important to him? That barmaid wife of his. Let's kinnap her. We'll make a ransom note. Then we'll trade the rabbit for the girl. Now go!" He ordered again.

"Wait!" The voluptuous figure across the room called out. Her voice now even lower and more sultry. "Give him to me." She said. Jessica removed the hat from her head and shook down her fire engine red hair. It cascaded down her back. She shrugged the fur wrap off her shoulders. It fluttered to the floor exposing her shoulders and expansive bust to the room. "You shouldn't have sent weasels to do a woman's job." She said provocatively as she placed her hands on her lower back arched her leg out thrusting her chest forward in a seductive pose.

Greasy, the weasel defined but his horn dog nature, promptly fainted upon looking at her. Doom was looking at her too. She met everything a man could desire. Her long shapely legs extended up into thick thighs and a bulbous ass that drew everyone's attention as she walked by. Her wide hips rocketed to the left and right with every step. Sometimes swaying so much that her hips threatened to break parallel. Her tiny waist was thin enough for a man to wrap both his hands around and touch them together easily. Then there were the true stars of her show, her breasts. The objects of many men's desires. They were the biggest ones anyone had ever seen, toon or human. They sat high and proud on her chest, jutting out a couple feet. Her dress was cut low enough to show enough cleavage to make the Grand Canyon jealous. They had an exaggerated bounce just as pronounced as her hips when she walked. All this combined with her unshakable confidence and sensuality. She was sex incarnate.

This all did nothing for Doom. He looked at her the same as he did any other toon. He knew what she was drawn for but he felt no such things and found them uninteresting. "I know you're very good at what you do, Mrs. Rabbit, but we can't leave anything to chance on this. I don't thin-" Doom was interrupted.

"I've met him twice and both times his eye balls were so deep in my cleavage that he might as well have been paying rent there. He was at my performance the other night and left him a cowering mess of libido. I gave him one of my favorite moves." By this time, Greasy had somewhat recuperated and was sitting in a chair trying to catch his breath. Jessica flung herself into his lap. "I sit on their lap, making sure to lean my body in so these babies are squished against them." Greasy looked on mesmerized as the toon siren leaned in. Her mammoth breasts pressing into him but they were so big and his body so skinny that they just popped onto both sides of him essentially trapping him in her vast cleavage. "Lean in till our lips are agonizingly close." Greasy closed his eyes and puckered up at the oncoming toon. "Then remind them who they are and who I am and I would never ever do that." She slapped the weasel across the face and braced on the chair getting up. His body sliding out of her cleavage.

"Then when they think they've survived me, I make sure to give a good pose on their table so they can really take all of this woman in." Greasy was whimpering as he looked at her female form in front of him making his heart race skyrocket. "And one last reminder of who's in charge." Jessica jerked Greasy by the tie to meet her. Their faces just inches apart. She looked down at him. "So what do you think, Greasy, would you tell me everything?" She cooed. Greasy promptly exploded into a charred weasel. Jessica looked over her shoulder at Doom. "Valiant had a similar reaction."

"Then when I saw him at the crime scene, he was so busy staring at my tits that he didn't even see my distraught wife slap incoming. Actually, it was a pretty good distraction technique. I'll have to remember that one." She made a mental note to herself. "So what do you think, Judge? I think I can handle him because I know that he can't handle me. This body is beyond anything a man can manage. I'll tease him. I'll seduce him. I'll reduce him to nothing because that's what I do to men."

Doom looked her over and thought for a second. "I'll drive you."

The luxury car pulled in front of the office of Valiant & Valiant. "Alright, just find out what he's done with the rabbit. I know he's helping him and has him stashed. That's all we need. Don't draw too much attention and get in and out." Doom ordered.

Jessica was fixing her hair in the passenger side mirror. "Judge, have you ever walked around with two watermelons hanging off your chest that every man you encounter has been biologically programmed to lust after from birth?" She asked never taking her eyes from the mirror. Doom looked on confused. "Well, I do every day and trust me dear, when you're Jessica Rabbit there is no such thing as not drawing attention." She flipped the mirror closed and looked over at him. "And I like it. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go torture a man's libido to get him to do what I want. My favorite hobby." She gleed with excitement.

Jessica stepped out and closed the door. She kept her eyes locked on the Valiant & Valiant office window like a lioness stalking her prey. Her heels clicked down the hallway. She made sure to put a little extra oomph in her hips and bounce in her breasts. She felt like a goddess and she couldn't wait to see Eddie's reaction. She stopped at the office door and looked at the smoky "VALIANT & VALIANT" glass. She smoothed her dress and adjusted her breasts one last time to muster up a little more cleavage. "Let's go get him, girls. He's not ready for these." She said looking down at her chest and with that she flung the door open and sauntered inside.


End file.
